Hey Reader! Saturday morning. No alarm. No plans. Nothing urgent.And yet... I was edgy. Unsettled. Like my skin didn’t fit. I reached for my phone, instinctively.Nothing new. Turned it off again.Still itchy. Still restless. It’s been happening a lot lately — that subtle hum beneath the surface.Not full-blown anxiety. Just a low-grade discomfort I can't explain or shake. I used to soothe it with busyness.Distractions. Deadlines. Doing.Now, even those aren’t working. And here’s the...
9 months ago • 1 min read
Hey Reader! For six days now, a female cardinal has been throwing herself at my windows. She picks one, slams into it over and over. I cover it up—she moves to the next. All day long. Thunk, thunk, thunk. Turns out, she’s not crazy. She thinks her reflection is another bird invading her space. She’s not hurting herself, but she’s spending all her energy fighting an enemy that doesn’t exist. And watching her, I thought, “Oh… I do this too.” For example, last week I canceled an early morning...
9 months ago • 1 min read
Hey Reader! There I was — sitting in a Zoom room with 147 people — listening to yet another person confidently describe their latest transcendent breakthrough using phrases like “background spaciousness” and “interpenetrating awareness.” Everyone else was nodding like they were agreeing the sky is blue. And I was ready to throw something.Why can’t I access these mind-blowing states everyone else seems to slip into so effortlessly? This was supposed to be an advanced course — the kind of thing...
10 months ago • 2 min read
Hi there Reader! Labor Day weekend. Clear blue sky, barely 80 degrees, low humidity. A blessed break from the heat and monsoon rains we'd been enduring all summer. Perfect kayaking weather. I mean PERFECT. The kind of day your neighbors post on Instagram with captions like "Blessed!" and "What a gift!" Christopher and I had talked about getting the kayaks out. It would be absolutely glorious on the water. The kayaks had been sitting in our garage all summer, practically taunting us. But...
10 months ago • 1 min read
Hey Reader! Last weekend I binge-read this incredible book about an 86-year-old man named Theo. Then I immediately started it again. I’ve never done that in my life! Reading about him, I felt this surge of inspiration. "Yes!" I thought. "This is exactly how I want to move through the world. With that kind of open-hearted curiosity about people." I was practically glowing with warmth from this aspiration. Then I went to Costco. On a Saturday. You probably know it. That fluorescent temple of...
10 months ago • 2 min read
Hey Reader! I never actually decided to start The Freeflow Rebellion. For over a year, I'd had this recurring inspiration about helping people break free from invisible rules. At some point I'd even come up with the name and bought the domain - not because I'd decided to launch anything, but just because it felt right. Then it sat there. And sat some more. Until one day I just found myself in a conversation about these ideas that had been percolating beneath the surface. Within days, I was...
11 months ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader! The ultrasound looked like a storm cloud. "We need to remove his spleen immediately," the vet said, pointing to dark spots on the screen. "And do a liver biopsy." My 13.5-year-old dog Rumi lay there so vulnerable under those bright lights. The vet was already talking surgery dates, worst-case scenarios. And I felt that familiar panic: I have to fix this. I have to find the right answer. But something stopped me in my tracks. We didn't actually know if there was anything TO fix. My...
11 months ago • 1 min read
Hello Reader, At 60, I was still grumbling about "gym rats" and their ridiculous culture. You know the type—all bulk and protein shakes and taking selfies between sets. Not my people. Definitely not my scene. I'm a soft artist type, I told myself. I do Pilates and yoga. Refined movement for refined people. There's this local gym on our island called Black Flag. Every time I drove past their skull-and-barbell logo, I'd literally snub my nose and think, "How ridiculous. Those people are...
12 months ago • 3 min read
Hey Reader, Something happened recently that would have been unthinkable for most of my life. My husband Christopher got an invitation from friends visiting from out of state. Nice people of course, and they'd come all this way - all the usual reasons to say yes. Normally? Automatic yes. But I had recently started allowing myself to ask an unthinkable question: "Do I actually want to spend this time with them?" The answer was immediate and clear: No. I really don't. Not because they're not...
12 months ago • 3 min read